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| SERIOUSLY THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME....I HATE MYSELF FOR IT...IM THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME NO ONE ELSE BUT ME!....
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| Im tired of it hearing the same thing over and over again.....im tired of being a fool and getting fooled. Im just so over it now...this song is for you. U will probably never read this til sumone u know sees this. This is for you.... EMK!....I am tired of your lies im just tired of everything. I really do wish we never got together i really do oh u have no idea how much i wish for that to happen....so listen to this and never talk to me again.
Katharine McPhee Lyrics | | |
| I so didn't want to get up this morning, it was so cold it was raining....i wanted to stay in my bed where it was warm. When i got up, i quickly hop back in bed under my doona and pillows...hehehehe
Got to work, and mindy had just told me that i was suppose to start at 9 and fin at 5....argh!!! I thought i was suppose to start at 10 which i was on time when i got there....but even my boss thought that i start at 10 today. Well it was her day off today. It was just mind and i at work...it was so dead today at work....but we managed to find things to do. I stayed til 6pm coz i started at 10.
Anyhooz....so far so good im great...not hearing from michael....i was hoping he wont call my work and ask for my new no. or what happend to my mobile....i didn't get any phone calls from him. Which was great, i told mindy b4 if he calls me at work tel him im busy or he can leave a msg.
I feel good knowing he doesn't know my no. coz i know i wont hear from him nor will i expect for him to call me and try to get to see him again. I just had it...i felt so used though.
Come to think of it changing my no. would had been the greatest thing i did so far since we broke up.
I dont think about him that much and im not hoping or waiting he'd text me....pfft i am so stupid.
A few times today, all i can think about was how badly he treated me and what he made me go through and how much of an idiot he made me feel, it was always my fault and it never was his. He made it seem that he was this GOD that he knew what was right and wrong and what i do is wrong and i should do his way and blah blah blah!....Everytime i think bout the past it makes me so mad i just want to.....i dont know...im just so angry...if killing was legal for one day or for an hour....he'd be the first person i'd kill....argh!!!!!
I feel so free now though, i feel like i can do a lot more than i can before, i dont have to worry about him. But i am still pinged off about what he said to me. But nways i'll try not to get that get to me. Im thinking of moving away from here...but i love my job here i love my boss and co workers they're awesome we're like a family.
Hhmmm....what to do? what to do?
Im tired im going to sleep...hehehe
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| Yep they were here since late may went out a few times and the town is packed wit them. I would had gone out last night but i had other attendance joy and sum of her friends went out...she then texted me later last night that her and the girls all hooked up except for me since my ass wasnt out. I wanted to but....i just dont see the enjoyment of having a one night stand wit USA navys.....hhmm.....
Ok so michael and i aren't together....but that doesn't mean i just run a mock....or should i???
Sum had advised me to do so....just for the fun of it and to get a bit of an ego boost as well as to sort of get over the king of jerk. But i dont know....i just cant seem to...there are times i want to but then i'll chicken out...nyahahaha how sad is that...lolz
I dont about sum people but for me...to be intimate wit sumone i have to have feelings for him....call me old fashion but yeah thats how i feel....i cant get intimate wit sumone unless i like them and had known them for a while.
Oh another thing...michael the jerk told me that his mom's friend who is a good friend of my mother had told her that i cant have kids and i should had been upfront about it wit him in the beginning.
WHAT THE F*CK???!!!!
Who is this friend of my mother's to have the right telling everyone in this town that i cant have kids???
Whoever that biatch is...can get run over by a car or a truck and die slowly in pain wishing she had never said anything like that!!!! I hate filos here who are gossipers they have nothing else to do but stir sumone else's life.
When really they wish they were me..... grrrrr makes me so mad.
By the way this happend yesterday.... after Michael had told me that...i asked my mother what she said to her so called friends....she said she didnt say it like that...and blah blah blah....im a bit pinged off at mom though but mainly at this biatch whoever she is....zs,dngfsopuigjSLKndgo;sgSNKdgv;SLgSHdgSKBdtgf
Yeah as i was saying after that....i texted michael how much of a fool he is to believe that and told him as well whoever that friend is...can go and wash her mouth properly and get her facts right before she judges people who she hardly even know.
I just had enough of him, blaming me for his actions blaming for this and that and im sick of the fact that i used to love him...but all this anger came out and that has turned into hate even more than it did before....
I had it...i dont want to hear from him, nor do i want to see him. He has hurt me so bad already but this....pfft...nah...
So i changed my mobile no. and made sure i only gave it to the people i know that would never in their life give my no. to michael ever again.
Man if only townsville wasn't so small it would had been good.....i want to go out clubbing but i know for sure i'll always bump into him no matter what. And i dont want to see him it will just ruin my night....and if i see him where i work coz he always goes shopping in the centre....i want to just hurt him so much. COLD HEARTED BASTARD not to mention an UGLY MUTHER FUCKING PLAYER!!!!!!
Yep thats right i called u an UGLY MUTHER FUCKING PLAYAR! Who has a small penis that i have ever seen...dont even know why i loved u!.....
I wish we never got together i wish we never met!
Yep thats right....i regret every moment we had so u can shove everything back up ur black hairy ass.
You lying muther fucking male whore!!!!
excuse my lingos peepz but i want to get my anger out.
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| *CRIES*
I want to go to melbourne in august....but i dont think i would be able to...not just because i wont have enough money but because its too late for me to tell my boss i want my holiday during that time. She's going overseas for 3 weeks i think.....and that would be in august....NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Oh well....i guess i can always go later....but after august it kinda gets busy at work after that i dont want to go when its busy at work thats when i'll be getting more hours to work and i will learn a lot more than i have last yr. Im pretty excited since will be getting heaps of new stocks coming in...hehehehe.
A lot of crap has happened but i wont go into details here since i know a few people from townsville reads this...nyahahahaha.....and yeah..i know sum of them are hypocrites PFFT!
Its so cold now and its been raining since last night...didn't even know it was raining til i fin work.....i got a few vids to post here but since my ass is freezing and its my day off today i'll take my time to post it....lolz
ciao for now
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